CANADA – “They told me it would never get warm enough to need it,” Franz Steen, the snowman, says as he proudly lifts the lid on the subterranean, off-the-grid, self-sufficient, cooling […]
“Jobs. Jobs. Jobs,” said Ontario Premier Doug Ford today, as he unveiled his government’s plans to put school children to work as croupiers, bartenders, bouncers, brew masters, and beer truck drivers. […]
A new report from the Canadian Centre For Studying Hateful Idiots has confirmed what many people already suspected: Our country is officially full of them. And we are not alone. “Australia, New […]
Some tens of thousands of years too late for the billions of people who have died at the hands of other people attempting to sate their thirst for cruelty, God has finally […]
In the wake of the worst mass shooting in New Zealand history, perpetrated by a white supremacist against immigrants, the many anti-immigrant politicians around the world who have knowingly hitched their wagon […]
“It turned out the tire was the easy part,” Randy Volutin, a spokesperson for eponymously-named Canadian Tire said earlier today, speaking at the marquee unveiling of a product which consumers from coast to […]
“Lesser Germany, Minor France, and Greater Holland. Beauties all,” a scientist from Environment Canada intoned proudly into his headset, as he hovered in a Coast Guard helicopter above the three new countries […]
In a rare show of mercy from an insentient force that is primarily the result of mankind’s worst mistakes, global climate change today agreed to just hold off on the whole ‘hastening […]
After the disease made an unwelcome guest appearance on his show this evening, Jeopardy host Alex Trebek told the scourge of millions and reducer of lives that it was badly mistaken, and […]
After winning widespread praise from many embattled foreign leaders, Justin Trudeau was his usual modest self today, expressing feigned surprise when asked if his decision to hobble Canada – so as to […]
