In a late press conference following a game with the Boston Bruins yesterday evening, the Toronto Maple Leafs unveiled their new logo to a room of shocked reporters.
“We wanted our redesign to invoke feelings of a winning tradition, of successes both past and present, and of an entire nation’s pride.” Says Reggie Steel, head of marketing for the Leafs and the brains behind the total, original, nothing like it anywhere else redesign. Those initial comments were followed by a long, awkward silence.
Desperately searching for some way to not have to suck the Leafs have engaged in a number of drastic manoeuvres in recent weeks, from players not stepping on cracks in the sidewalk to having their skates sharpened by a Japanese swordsmith, to intensive close-door practices where rumour has it they use a Nickelback album instead of a puck in an attempt to hone both gentle hands and deaf ears.
But in by far the strangest move in the ongoing saga to win as well as sell all of their tickets, the Maple Leafs have undertaken a complete redesign of their brand. And it looks strangely familiar.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Said Steel when pressed on the matter of the striking similarity of the new logo to that of their ancient rivals from Montreal. “Our logo is blue and white, theirs is red, blue and white,” he continued, going on to explain the ‘C’ stands for Canada and the ‘H’ for hockey. “Obvs. Incidentally I would also like to take the opportunity to announce that from now on when referring to the Maple Leafs in a colloquial manner, the correct term is ‘The Tennants’ or ‘Renters’.”
Reached for comment a representative of the Montreal Canadiens franchise provided a statement via telephone which consisted almost entirely of uncontrolled laughter, trailing chuckles, further eruptions of giggling, what sounded like a dingo yipping at one stage, and then a number of long, deep, sighs before saying, “What a bunch of losers.”