“I think it’s time.” Said Ennio Morricone, famous composer and current head of the Association Of Notes, Sharps And Flats (ANSAF), discussing today’s announcement of the largest change to musical composition in living memory: the addition of a flat key.
In a somber but stately affair, held in a private garden in Vienna, Austria, Morricone read a prepared statement, which was later released on the association’s website to explain the reasoning behind the move.
“With the passing of both Prince and David Bowie in such a short period of time, it is our feeling that the time has arrived to have a greater range of notes that express loss, and sadness, and the jarring disjointedness of life that takes without warning. As that is what flat and sharp keys offer – a musical asymmetry to represent, and invoke, the dischord of our lives – it is our feeling that an additional flat, given to the core note, is the most fitting and useful expression of our grief and loss.”
A moment of silence was held then, following which no dry eyes were counted of the nearly 400 influential composers and musicians in attendance. The silence was then broken by rounds of laughter as Morricone added: “We do apologize to anyone who reads, writes, works with, or listens to music, for effectively changing everything.”