“Well it’s confusing as all hell for starts,” says Rover, a German Shepherd from Winnipeg who describes himself as a ‘fiscal conservative, small c.’ “One minute Kellie Leitch is giving the signal for ‘here boy, I’m your master,’ but at the same time Maxine Bernier is on the other side of the room whistling, ‘I’ve got treats, who wants a treat?’ It’s enough to drive an obedient dog mad.”

 Additionally, animal shelters across the country are reporting widespread havoc in their facilities whenever a conservative candidate other than Michael Chong issues a statement, tweets, or puts two fingers to their mouth while exhaling rapidly.

The SPCA is advising that for the rest of the Conservative Party candidacy race, all canines receive extra walks, water, and facts to help them cope with the annoying, and potentially damaging, pain of desperate politicians whistling over one another.

Photo: mary981 / 123RF Stock Photo