Science

Plans To Eradicate All Fires By Flooding Earth With CO2 Going Really, Really Well

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***Satire***

“I think carbon dioxide has been unfairly stigmatized as a negative thing.” Said Republican Scott Pruitt, new head of the EPA, in a forthright – and at times rambling – public service announcement released Friday. “What do you think puts the sparkle in your sprite? What do you think puts out fires when water isn’t available or would be inappropriate to use as in the case of an electrical fire. What do you think trees breath? Did anyone ask the trees how they feel about cutting back CO2 emissions? No. I didn’t think so. Because you don’t care about the environment like I do. That’s why I’m in charge. Now pass me a Perrier.” 

 

 

 

 

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