Politics

In Riveting Season Finale, Comey To Reveal He And Trump Are Twins, Born In Kenya

comeyjames_070716mr2_leadA leaked script from Netflix’s infamous show Trump Grabs America By The Presidency has revealed that season one will end with James Comey testifying to the Senate Intelligence Committee that he and the president are fraternal twins, who were born in Kenya to Russian prank callers in 1946. 

While it appears unlikely there will be a season two, ending with this cliffhanger is clearly designed to raise more questions than answers, much like the experimental presidency itself. That the fourteen year age gap between the two men is the least interesting aspect of this plot twist, speaks to the magnitude of the revelation that will be made tomorrow. 

While viewership was already expected to include everyone with a TV, internet connection, or strong imagination, this well-timed leak will likely solidify tomorrow’s show as the most-watched non-sports event since a Canadian man mowed his lawn in front of a large tornado earlier this week. 

The leaked script also shows that in exchange for his testimony Comey will ask to be admitted to the Witness Hug Protection Program, which Trump will infiltrate on the first night when the detective assigned to protect the former head of the FBI is distracted by a sudden appearance of Ivanka Trump, allowing the president to gain access to Comey and repeatedly hug him against his will in a graphic closing scene that will be indelibly printed on the American psyche for years to come.

 

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