Life

Canadian Artists Release Collaborative Album ‘ClickbAid’ To Help Make America Normal Again

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***Satire***

“Leeaaan on me,” Bryan Adams belts into a hanging microphone in an emotional cover of the Bill Withers classic, the sweat pouring down his forehead mingling with the tears of compassion he feels for his wayward brothers to the south. “When you’ve made a dumb de-ci-sion. I’ll be your friend,” here the entire cast of Come From Away joins in en masse in a rousing crescendo, “I’ll help you stop co-lluuuding with Russia.”

A collaborative album, entitled ClickbAid, has been released this week by a rapidly assembled group of Canadian musicians and superstars, galvanized into action through a mutual desire to never have to look at Donald Trump Jr. again.

“Despite being a pacifist, I want to punch that kid in the face till his pa resigns,” Neil Young says while gently strumming Heart Of Gold in the background; creating an odd and strangely poetic juxtaposition. 

The album, which features Drake performing an unplugged cover of He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, is expected to sell at least 65,844,954 copies. The proceeds are being donated to the Red Cross to help provide emergency massages for the millions of American’s suffering from sore necks after six months of increasingly frantic head wagging.

Billed as a genuine outpouring of the love the smaller nation shares for its larger, more troubled kin, it is also being seen as an expression of Canadians’ near-total bafflement at America’s ongoing political and social tire-fire. Rolling Stone magazine says the result sounds like: “A Siamese Twin trying to calm their attached sibling following significant head trauma, with a lullaby, while trying very hard not to laugh.” 

 

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