“I just can’t understand how you can ask a question like that, that many times, and in that catchy a manner, and then never provide the answer,” says Johnny Williamsonoma of Farm Valley, New Brunswick. Despite seventeen years having passed since he first heard Baha Men‘s instant classic ‘Who Let The Canines Escape,’ he cannot move on. And he is not alone.
“We meet every Friday night, at 7:30 PM, right here in this nice church basement, and we eat Peek Freans and just try to work it all out, you know?” This is Dorothy Burgundy, leader of one of the many support groups that have formed worldwide in the years since the almost diabolically indifferent Baha Men left billions hanging. “We ask the hard questions. Where did all the dogs go? Why did someone let them out? What possible motive could they have had? Should we call the police? We never do though. What would we say?”
But not everyone has reached Dorothy’s admirable state of quiescence on the matter.
“What do you mean it was a ‘rhetorical’ question?” Asks Janine McCloud of Spring Hills, Ontario. “Is that a special kind of question? One that doesn’t have a simple fucking answer? Asking for a friend here people, one who has asked me to inform you she is about to lose her shit, ok? Who lost her shit? Who? Who? Who? Janine McCloud, that’s who. See how easy that was? Now tell me where the doggies are.”
Sadly, it appears increasingly likely we may never know.