Life

New Tattoo Enables Man To Force Coworkers To Make Approving Noises As He Undresses

37089960_m.jpg“Hey,” a guy with a fresh tattoo he can’t wait to show someone says to a co-worker as she joins him at the coffee machine.

“Hey.”

“Got a new tattoo.”

“Oh yeah? Nice. What is it?”

“An extended history of the bicycle. It starts on my inner thigh. Want to see it?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll show you.”

 

And in a single, unexpected motion that is as graceful as it is inappropriate, the man with a fresh tattoo unbuckles his belt, drops his pants, and sticks out a shaven, tattooed leg smeared in vaseline.

“Mmmmhmmmm,” his co-worker says, making a note to never drink coffee again, “Thats. Great.”

“Yep,” the tattooed exhibitionist agrees. “So up here near my groin you’ve got the velocipede, early predecessor to our modern cruisers. As we proceed down my inner thigh – are you looking? You’re not looking – we have the penny-farthing followed immediately by the safety bike. Then I threw an umbrella in here because I thought it looked cool. And a bear holding an eagle. On a trike.”

“Yes. That is a bear. Well great,” his colleague says, then looks at her phone says its an emergency her mother has died and runs away.

“You forgot your coffee,” the tattooed man calls after her as he pulls up his pants.

“Who forgot their coffee?” Another colleague says as he enters the confined space. 

“Janine. Hey. Got a new tattoo.”

“Oh yeah? Nice. What is it?”

 

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