Life

Solar Plexus Narrowly Beats Out Patella To Win Best Named Body Part For 400th Year Running

anatomyModelInFlightWhile it was close, in the end it was never really in aknee doubt.

“I’d like to say I won by the skin of my teeth,” a humble-bragging solar plexus said at the People’s Choice Body Part Awards afterparty, held at the Westin Harbour Castle, in downtown Toeronto. “But really I think in the end I showed the competition a clean pair of heels.”

With this win the solar plexus, known to many as the Brad ‘Pit of your stomach,’ makes it an even 400 years as the most magnificently monikered member of the human body. 

“I think its the evocation of the cosmos, as reflected their our innermost sanctum – literally the very core of their being – that appeals to people,” Mr. Plexus said, reappearing after a long smoke break in the back alley with the road crew. 

While the patella made a late charge in this year’s voting, using its similarity to the world’s favourite nut spread and general smooth delivery to outstanding effect, it was clear from the moment the evening began which part would again be the universal favourite. 

“Y’know, look,” says solar, informing a sober and slightly bored reporter that they absolutely must call him solar, “I get up every day and put my nerve fibres on one ganglia at a time, just like everyone else. This stuff doesn’t go to my head, I mean it can’t right, I’m really just a loose knot at one end of your sympathetic system.”

The evening wears on, the wine flows, the conversations become more candid. In a quiet corner a tipsy uvula begins making out with a not unwilling frenulum. Patella goes missing for awhile, causing many to wonder aloud if that makes him ‘dislocated.’ But it proves to be a moot point when he turns up passed out in a bathroom stall.

Eventually solar plexus takes his leave, claiming he has to to be up at 5:00 to work on his chakra. And slowly it all winds to a close, another body part names awards season finished, with many losers, and always just the one winner. The one they call solar. Plexus. 

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