While just a few gates away a group of Newfoundlanders danced as they waited for their plane to arrive, those expecting a WestJet flight from Toronto to Edmonton that was also delayed made the most of the situation in their own unique way: by hiking up their trousers, breaking out their grievances, and just doing what Albertans do best: bitch.
“It all started about five minutes after they’d told us that the flight was delayed due to the beers not being cold enough,” recounted one of the inconvenienced passengers, Cindy Scrawford, resident of Fort Saskatchewan. “We just sort of stared at one another for a few minutes, wishing we’d chosen Air Canada for a change, and wondering if there was still time to order some chicken strips. When out of nowhere old Willy Whinger stood up with his list of things he hates, and just started chuckin’ a bitch. And well, you don’t need to tell Albertans twice, we all joined right on in. I have to say, it was pretty special.”
Cellphone videos of the impromptu complaint session show the crowd milling around earnestly while energetically swapping their disgruntlement with the weather, using euphemisms to describe Prime Minister Trudeau, discussing in detail which level of hell Premier Notley should convey herself to, and mutually agreeing there is nothing on earth more obnoxious than a Leafs fan when their team has won more than a single game in a row (on this last point they gained a cheer from a nearby flight departing for Montreal).
“That’s Albertans for you,” said Mr. Whinger himself, reached by phone today after he eventually made it back to his ranch, where he raises free-range ‘Elect Jason Kenney’ signs. “You know what they say, can’t put more than two of us in a room without us deciding we don’t need Quebec anyway. I think it was a lovely show of what makes our province special. I wouldn’t be surprised if WestJet made one of those heartwarming commercials out of it. Though they probably wouldn’t give me credit and I bet it would suck.”
For their part WestJet said there was no such plans in motion, despite being an Albetan-based company themselves.
“I don’t think this is a helpful image to promote,” a spokesperson for the airline. “And while we always work very hard to keep delays to our flights to an absolute minimum, I can assure you we are working extra hard on getting all flights to Alberta rolling in an especially timely fashion.”