Torontonians Pleased To Learn Not Only Are The Argos Still Going, They’re In The Grey Cup

Braley.Candy“No shit, those guys are still playing?” Was by far the most common response on the streets of Toronto this week when local residents were asked their feelings on the home team making it to the Grey Cup for the third time in the 21st century. 

“Is Pinball still the running back? Man he’s great. And such a nice guy. He must have been playing for what now? Thirty years?” Said one man wearing an Argos hat which he later admitted was the last one at Value Village that fit him, adding that the multiple shades of blue really brings out his eyes in all lights. 

Interestingly, many of those asked seemed to be under the impression the Argos are still owned by Wayne Gretzky, John Candy, and Bruce McNall; and everyone interviewed listed ‘The Rocket’ Ismail as the main reason they would watch the final. Which was when again?

“This Sunday, 6:00 PM.” said a tired looking hot dog vendor outside the SkyDome, which might be called something else now but no one cares. “It’s in Ottawa people,” he says, addressing a line-up of confused Torontonians who have come down to the dome’s box office looking for tickets. “And even if it wasn’t, the team plays at BMO field now, Jesus get in the right century would you? Don’t you people read The Sun?” 

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