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At Current Rates Of Use World Could Run Out Of Thoughts And Prayers By As Early As 2019

USA-CHINA/CLIMATEA worldwide shortage of thoughts and prayers may leave us with no choice but to actually do something by as early as January 2019, researchers are warning, after a recent study revealed the popular refrain is now fueling 93% of government inaction globally. And we are running out.

Dr. Tim Freely, a leading expert in thinking and praying, and author of the book Act Now Or Forever Wring Your Hands, explains:

“The trouble is that back in the 50’s, when they first started using this phrase as a catch-all for ‘I’m not motivated to actually do something here but feel obligated to open and close my mouth in some fashion or other,’ politicians and community leaders had no idea how much they’d be relying on this platitude by the time the 21st century rolled around. And now we’re just plain running out. Of thoughts. Of prayers. And of patience.” 

Freely isn’t alone in sounding the alarm. The Global School for Total Ineffectiveness has said that not only are the current consumption rates of thoughts and prayers at unsustainable levels, but that we are also extremely low on condolences and general declarations of unity in these difficult times.

“It’s pretty simple really,” says Dominic McMercy, president of GSTI. “The ‘Doing Something To Prevent Kids From Getting Shot At School’ lobby is severely underfunded in [The United States of Thoughts and Prayers]. Much as there remains no lobby for ‘The Protection Of Indigenous Persons From Discrimination And Summary Execution’ up there in Canada. Because it’s politically easier to apologize for the collateral damage in these areas than it is to take on the rigours of change.”

McMercy says that studies have repeatedly shown that when a problem is viewed as too difficult or distasteful to bite into, politicians will often just pretend to chew it “through a process referred to as ‘lip service.'”

“Until we run out of patience with that. And then our leaders are left with the bald decision of either doing something, or assuming the horrifyingly honest silence of the uncaring.”

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20 replies »

  1. Very well written: many a true word is said in jest – or satire! Sadly, I fear that US politicians will never take action on this problem until a gunman enters a house of parliament and kills several of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here is a gun regulation idea:

    All Guns and ammunition should be licensed and registered or otherwise deemed an illegal firearm. I would even argue finding ways to mark ammunition so they can be tied to the license of those who bought them. However, a better method may be that a gun must be profiled in the marks it makes on fired rounds for which go into a file and database under the license number of the gun’s owner before the owner could ever legally and officially own the firearm. This for which must be updated yearly. Physical changes or tampering of the profile through either filing or other methods should result in the possible loss of license or having to pay heavy fines that include fees to update the gun’s profile.

    I would also argue that this profile must be legally transferred to a new owner should the gun ever be sold. A transfer that must take place before the gun can ever legally exchange hands. Should an illegal exchange ever happen, and the firearm ever used in a crime, the original owner should be held liable and even charged with illegal arms sales. .. In this way, the FBI or Police could more easily track and data match ammunition to specific owners and firearms.

    Lastly, all gun owners should be required to take and pass a mental fitness exam annually. This includes requiring them to take safety training every so many years

    Like

    • Then we would have a world where only the rich could and would kill people. They have shown over and over again that they couldn’t care less about human lives if they get in the way of profits. Consider the tobacco, gun, big food (read sugar), oil, etc. All of these industries are complicit in what can only be called mass murder.

      Like

  3. Bingo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I’ve been saying that LONG BEFORE
    this massacre….
    If it doesn’t DIRECTLY affect THEM, Their kids, Their parents, Their NEIGHBORHOOD….
    They don’t care….

    Like

  4. I think the headline is a little misleading. The numbers have clearly been skewed for the article. If you look at the raw numbers you’ll see thoughts and prayers will easily outlive US Social Security by at least a decade

    Liked by 1 person

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