Searchers Losing Hope After Three Days In Canadian Tire Looking For A Sales Associate

After walking every aisle numerous times, camping out near the automated check-out, and even calling the Canadian tire customer service line, only to be put on hold, searchers of a Canadian Tire in Kitchener are close to losing hope they’ll ever find someone, anyone who works there. And have long since given up on finding the Dcell batteries they entered the store hoping to purchase. 

“I’m exhausted,” admits one customer, warming his hands by a backyard heater, too tired to notice the display model isn’t connected to a fuel source. “It’s been three days, and all I’ve eaten were sausages from that guy out front, which were delicious by the way. My wife said forget the batteries, but I don’t know how can she even think like that when clearly there are people missing. Someone must work in this store, surely. And they might be injured, or lost, and in need of rescue.”

Another man – who originally came in looking for a tire pressure gauge before getting roped into the largest search operation at this Canadian Tire location since last week, when forty people waited at the automotive desk while the only manager on duty went to Cancun for his afternoon break – says he does’t know what day it is anymore.

“Early on there were sightings of guys in red shirts disappearing in the distance, but now it’s just us customers, wandering around in this land of the midnight fluorescent lights, wondering how we’re going to tell the parents of the people that must have once worked here that they are gone. Forever.

Waterloo Regional Police say they are following multiple leads on the evolving situation, but aren’t optimistic.

“While we are aware there’s a lot more to Canadian Tire than tires,” a spokesperson for the force says, reading a prepared statement, “One of those things is apparently not easily locatable sales associates. We expect this search to continue until we lose interest or find the item we wanted on our own. In our case that is pine-scented air fresheners for our cruisers. You haven’t seen those by any chance have you?”

For more Canadian satire, look midway down aisle 32, on the left, at knee height, just below the garbage bags. Or follow The Out And Abouter on Facebook, or @outandabouter on Twitter.

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56 replies »

  1. This is in poor taste. A Canadian Tire in Ajax burnt to the ground this week you decide to make a joke about missing sales associates…


  2. Funny – but it’s a French sign overhead. Obviously not a picture from Waterloo and obviously a commentary from someone with far too much time to waste


  3. Come to London Ontario Hyde park Road location! A Greeter in place that actually knows where all 30,000 plus items are in over 100 aisles!
    A communication system between all employees ensure a very high level to f customer satisfaction. Store policy is no lineups more than 2 people deep without calling other staff to help. It is clean, well merchandised and in stock.


    • obviously posted by the owner or manager of this store….. LOL I’ve been to that store and their employees can hide as good as the best of them.


  4. I once went into the Duncan location to get a bbq that was in the flyer. I went to “Seasonal” where Bbq’s are usually kept. 2 staff members were standing chatting. When I approached them and said “excuse me” they both walked away. I caught up with them in the next aisle and asked about the bbq (flyer in hand). They looked at the shelf where all the other Bbq’s were & said they were sold out. I pointed out that there were 20 some odd in store when I checked online. Again, they said they were sold out.
    I went about my other business & lo and behold, as I passed camping supplies there was a stack of 20 of them. Had the sales associates looked at the computer they would have seen that they weren’t sold out as they had said. I did grab one and went to find the associates who said they were sold out…. but couldn’t find either of them.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Very funny! We will be sure to plug in the heater for you! . . . . At our store in Kitchener – Victoria Street we have batteries at the front, easy to find, no needed recon mission!. . . . and our store is so small-ish but friendly that it’s hard to avoid bumping into our Team who are more than happy to serve you . . . . and we are glad no one was hurt in Ajax! It’s an awesome store too.


  6. it’s not hard to locate what you want in any Canadian Tire. but common sense is no longer common..people are unable to open their eyes. Give up if you can’t find what you need/want and shop at Wal-Mart in your pink thong and become one of those pictures… insert head in lower rectum and give up on life. don’t get this crazy delusional world we live your eyes


  7. I thought I found one once when I saw a leg sticking out of a pile of empty bicycle parts boxes in the Sporting Goods section, but it was just a mummified carcass.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Canadian tire is a great place to shop. The staff are very helpful and all are armed with a small handheld to locate anything for you. I never have issues at any Canadian tire stores.


    • I agree Joe, I thought the story was hilarious. There are days when you can’t find anyone and there are days when you can. All the same l loved the article.


  9. I’m sure that it’s all true. My wife went into the McCowan Rd. store to buy me a new GPS unit for my truck and they gave her a huge hustle about not knowing where they were and they THINK that they were sold out…..CHECK THE DAMN COMPUTER !!! Or still better yet……KNOW YOUR PRODUCTS AND KNOW YOUR STORE…….YOU WORK THERE !!! Try being proud of where you work, your being PAID to work there !


  10. Both location’s at our Canadian Tire stores are incredibly hard to find anyone. You ask where something is located they try to help. I finally went to customer service. The rude young lady said “I DON’T KNOW. So I gave up and went to Wal-Mart.


  11. The worst Canadian Tire is the one in Brantford, Ontario. I will drive to an out of town one rather than shop there. Rude and inconsiderate, from management down to checkout clerks.


  12. Maybe the staff all went state side to work for Donald Trump. If they all left, consider them fired and hire all new. I have never had trouble getting service. Plus if I saw that many cops with Assault Rifles, staff or customer “I’d be gone too.”


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