Conor McGregor appeared in a New York courtroom today on charges of wilfully neglecting to count the number of walls surrounding the room he was being violent in.
“Rookie mistake,” said a subdued looking McGregor as he was led out of court. “The first thing they teach you in when you get into MMA, even before how to break a man’s arm with your abs, is to double check your wall count before the face smashing begins.
“Disgusting,” said Dana White, who has made untold millions off of the once-reliable wall counter with a devastating left hook. “This is not the Conor McGregor I know. The McGregor I know is only violent in the pre-agreed area, when we are all ready to make money. This was not that. And that is unacceptable. More so than the other violence. Which is sport.”
In a statement that was warmly received by his legions of fans, McGregor said his days of hurting people are definitely not over. But that from now on he would make sure that his designated entrance music had played beforehand, and someone had taped his hands and promised him at least 8 figures whether he won or lost.