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Police Investigate After Toronto Housing Market Manifests Itself

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Police expect rising interest rates to bring the car down to the ground sometime in the next 5-10 years.

A burned-out car found dangling from the Leaside Bridge in Toronto is “almost certainly a physical manifestation of our overwrought housing market’s psychic energy,” the Toronto Police Services said at midday today. And they are investigating. 

“At the moment we’re focussing on precisely what market forces led to a shack that was worth $240,000 eight years ago now being worth a cool million dollars,” said a spokesperson for the TPS. “Once we know that, we’ll be a long ways towards understanding this equally odd visual expression of that particular madness.”

Emergency services were called shortly after 8 a.m. ET, when thousands of people commuting in from Quebec and Manitoba – where many Torontonians have been forced to relocate in their search for affordable housing – spotted the vehicle hanging precipitously by a thread above a destructive drop.

“Just like real estate in Toronto right now,” says Diane Chen, one of the first to report the potential calamity. “And that’s what I said to the 911 operator I spoke to. That there’s a car hanging over the Don Valley that looks like a deposit on a new development in Vaughn just waiting to happen. And people could get hurt.” 

A veteran police officer attending the scene said that the car – which had no one inside it, much like the significant percentage of Toronto condos bought purely on speculation – was like nothing he had seen in his thirty years on the force. 

“So yeah. A lot like this crazy-ass housing market.”

 

Photo: CTV News

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