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World Demands Zara Make A ‘Yeah I Fucking Care, Why Don’t U?’ Jacket. Now.

And all proceeds can go towards helping migrant children.

In the wake of Melania Trump choosing to wear a jacket that said ‘I really don’t care, do u?’ on her way to meet with children who are currently living a nightmare of indefinite length as the direct result of her husband having the moral fibre of patriotically-coloured candy floss, the world is demanding that Zara – the maker of the coat – create a new jacket. One that doesn’t read like the summary of a country club conversation on the subject of affordable healthcare for everyone, or the socioeconomic pressures migrants face.

“I want it to say ‘Yeah I fucking care, why don’t u?'” says Tori Mills, resident of Toronto, Canada, speaking to Zara customer service as she rides the 504 streetcar home. “Yes. I’ll hold.”

“No. No I don’t care about the procurement logistics of the textile industry,” says a man two seats over from Ms. Mills, also on the phone to Zara. “Four to six weeks lead time is absolutely unacceptable. Did you see where your other jacket was worn? We need an answering garment, and we need it now. Also the proceeds will be donated to assisting migrant children. Yes. I’ll hold.”

A man from further back in the streetcar says he’s started an online petition. Someone else says their sister is an exec at H&M and that company is saying that if Zara won’t do it they will.

While pundits are still weighing in on what is probably the most controversial political clothing choice since Barack Obama nearly created a rift in the space-time continuum by wearing a tan suit, the possible ways to interpret this situation have already been distilled down to: a) Melania is even less competent than her husband – which leaves open the question of how she is able to remain standing upright – or b) She is a modern day Marie-Antoinette.

“Sure, it’s just a jacket, but this is a fucking street fight right now,” says Tori, the original caller, still holding. “While it is hard to know what to do to help in this situation, I can tell you what not to do: don’t wear a coat that literally says that you? Don’t. Care. Did she mean it? I really don’t care, do u? It’s appalling any which way you cut it. Zara better get my answer made, and fast.”

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