In response to the Liberal government’s plan to push through legislation forcing Canada Post employees to immediately return to helping Amazon remain the wealthiest tech company in history, those same workers have released a commemorative stamp.
“It’s a perfect example of the Canadian workers’ spirit,” said noted stamp collector, Alec Licken. “A single, firmly-raised digit indicating the postal workers’ eagerness to shoulder their burden as a major cog in the Canadian economic machine. This despite not having received any concessions from their employers, or made any progress on the issues of job security, pay raises, and unduly injurious work environments. Such commendable esprit de corps.”
“That isn’t what that finger means,” responded Mike Palecek, president of the Canadian Union of Postal Workers.
“Obviously the intention of this stamp is to express our wholehearted disapproval of the Liberal’s use of emergency legislation to save Canadians from actually having to get organized about their Christmas mailings. Effectively we are being forced back to work so that everyone can do what they do every year: line up at the post office on the 23rd of December, demand that their package get across five times zones by the evening of the 24th, and then complain about the price.”
Palecek added that the O¢ value in the corner of the memorial stamp is intended to indicate what Canadian postal workers feel their rights are worth to this government.
“And because a move like this, coming from a party that is ostensibly pro-worker, makes zero cents.”
“It isn’t that we don’t care about supporting both our mail, and fe-mail workers,” said Prime Minister Trudeau, cornered near a Parliament Hill vending machine. “It’s that, in the true spirit of the holiday season, we just don’t care enough.”
Labour Minister Patty Hajdu was quick to agree. “At this very moment, Canadians are ordering crap they don’t need, that they expect to arrive in the coming weeks in a timely, organized, and grossly excessive fashion. Simply put, we cannot let those shoppers down. Canada Post workers on the other hand … “
Editor’s Note: The above mentioned stamp does not, at this time, exist.