BROKEN FORKS – Saying she just wasn’t ready for the look on her dad’s face when she tells him that there’s no such thing as trickle-down economics, little Julie Wilson, of Broken Forks, Montana, today admitted it was getting pretty hard to answer her Republican father’s increasingly probing questions.
“At night, when he’s getting ready to head out to his second job – the one he works in the evenings to pay for our health insurance – it can be really hard to look him in the eye and say supply-side theory isn’t going to let him down this holiday season. Not like last year. And the 39 before it.”
Eight-year-old Julie says that the elaborate charade she goes through to avoid dashing her dad’s belief in the inherent decency of rich people has gotten especially hard of late, as many of her father’s friends have independently come to the conclusion that the beneficence of the Republican party is at best an outdated myth. And is, at worst, a willful manipulation of a significant portion of the American electorate.
“Last week his best friend, Tommy from next door, started saying he heard Donald Trump made most of his money gaming the tax system, and was just treating the highest office in the land as a way to build his brand and give jobs to his otherwise-unemployable offspring and their spouses. After that I could see pops starting to look at his thirteen-year-old car, vacationless winter, and nearly empty retirement savings account in a bit of a different light.”
While she readily admits it’s just a matter of time before one of her dad’s older friends tells him outright that rich people don’t give a shit about him as long as he avoids their gated communities, and keeps working so they can squeeze every penny of profit out of his sweating, stressing carcass, Julie adds it would be nice if they could get one more year out of the harmful deception.
“He just looks so happy in his red MAGA hat, watching his Fox News, swearing about immigrants and Canadians. Who am I to tell him those aren’t the people who cut taxes for the wealthy, and then had the gall to say they did it for the middle class? Besides, I’m only in Grade 3. Shouldn’t he, at 40, be able to take a quick look around and work all this out for himself?”