In the latest sign that the 21st century will be just as kind to Canada’s original inhabitants as the previous five, RCMP officers arrived today on Wet’suwet’en territory, intent on ignoring the local inhabitants expressed demands that pipeline construction through their land not continue until it has been blessed by their hereditary leaders.
“The government of Canada has done everything it can to not listen to each individual clan of the Wet’suwet’en nation in turn,” said an RCMP spokesperson, speaking to reporters as the police broke barriers that have been erected on a remote B.C. logging road to stop construction vehicles from moving in. “They’ve spent decades not listening in the courts, and years not listening in the communities. Now the time has come for our officers to not listen in the cold.”
Moments later all cellular communication for the area was knocked offline, in what the RCMP was just a coincidence, and “a real shame, considering how much we’ve all been looking forward to hearing the many messages of support for our consensus-building action.”
“This is all part of the extended process that was undertaken prior to granting TransCanada permission to build their pipeline directly through land that they did not have permission to build a pipeline through,” the RCMP spokesperson added, as overhead a cloud passed in front of a cloud that was covering another cloud.
The confusion appears to arise from the fact that First Nations leaders with jurisdiction over a different area, signed an agreement for that other area. Leading those who stood to profit from the project to conclude that all the areas were onboard, including the ones that had said they were not onboard.
“But that’s all part of the listening process,” said a government representative, who declined to give his name. “We ask questions, listen for the answers we want, and if we don’t get them we draft an apology and do what we were going to do in the first place. After all, it’s 2019. The years of not listening are over. Now we just don’t hear.”