Dear Abby, I am a billionaire. I am the best billionaire. I am the billionairest billionaire who ever wrote to you. Your ratings are going to be through the roof on this […]
In the first post-racism nation on earth, in which all people are treated completely equally and have absolutely nothing to fear from the police or systemic bias, a Canadian football player was […]
“It’s the only place I get my news,” says a clearly exhausted Prime Minister, gesturing to a television displaying Al Jazeera’s live feed as he sinks into a comfy sofa after a […]
Saying they expect the majority of their fans and players will want to spend a significant portion of tomorrow’s pre-game in a kneeling position, the Cleveland Browns today announced that they intend […]
It was a somber moment yesterday evening when Donald Trump had his chief of staff, John Kelly, read Kim Jong-un’s response to the president’s offer to totally destroy North Korea. “Kelly did […]
Invited to fill in for a friend in the weekly Spanish Banks Beach Volleyball league, no one on the team suspected that beneath the amiable exterior of newcomer Doug Larouge lay a […]
As a Cartographer of The Order of Knights, John Williams can recreate, from memory, a detailed map of every major landmass on earth, including international borders, all lakes over 100 square-kilometres, and […]
Saying that the little-visited, but oft-referenced, atoll in the South Pacific had been vacant for over six months, China today moved its navy to surround The Moral High Ground Islands, left untended […]
In an early morning rally that saw millions of Canadians extend a tentative leg out of bed, Wednesday has jumped to fourth on the TSE 100’s list of top-performing days of the […]
Speaking to the United Nations assembly for the first time today, Donald Trump made it clear that if Kim Jong-un does not stop threatening to use nuclear warfare to get what he […]
