“We just can’t be too careful when it comes to the possible risk of E. coli contamination,” said the head of the CDC, Ned Sanders, speaking to reporters shortly after his agency informed […]
In an odd, sad, and strange ceremony held to mark 30 years since David Hasselhoff sang the Berlin Wall down, US President Donald Trump today unveiled his warning to those who would […]
In a move that industry insiders are calling “gross” and “pretty fucked up,” Google’s parent company Alphabet today quietly acquired the rights to name every single child born on this planet for […]
Wasting no time following the death of former leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the Islamic State today confirmed that they would be going with the horrifyingly obvious choice for a new commander. One […]
In a stunning development for a province that many Canadians had dismissed as being 90% badlands, and 10% poor urban planning, Alberta today pulled an ace out of its yellow vest when […]
It’s Orange Shirt Day in Canada, when we remember the Indigenous children who were sent to residential schools. For followers of this website unfamiliar with the subject or its details: Starting in […]
Immediately following a meeting with climate activist Greta Thunberg on the periphery of the Montreal Climate March, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made a bold, unexpected, but notably on-brand announcement. “In honour […]
In a stunning blow to Democrats, and the prospects for progress of our generation in general, legal experts in the United States have expressed doubts that the 62 million people who chose […]
Scientists taking core samples at a remote location in Antartica have made a shocking – but probably not significant – discovery: Dinosaurs. Obese ones. Trapped in SUVs with just one dino driver […]
In an extraordinary move following centuries of fighting like people and people, cats and dogs today announced that they have ratified an agreement to battle the global scourge of climate change in […]
