TORONTO – Following yet another coating of solid, smooth, and lubricous ice falling on the already slicker-than-snot city of Toronto last night, the municipality – which exhausted its supply of salt midway […]
VANCOUVER – After years of labouring in the unrewarding, dead-end job of being a curable disease, hoping for some sort of breakthrough evolution that would allow it to regain its full epidemic […]
Following a late evening visit from the ghost of his father (and former prime minister) Pierre Trudeau, current PM Justin Trudeau says his dad’s spectre was as blunt as his earthly figure […]
19TH CENTURY – They’re travelling by buggy, brougham, cabriolet, and calash. Pulled by worthy teams of two, four, six, and even eight animals, the United Horse-Drawn Carriage Makers for Canada are braving […]
WASHINGTON – There were fireworks. The Blue Angels performed three flyovers. A tank did burnouts on the south lawn. Random men kissed unknown women in the streets, raising questions of consent. And children […]
“Yes it’s a bit of a cliché,” says Winnipeg resident Adam Tasteigh, gesturing towards a bright-red jacuzzi overflowing with fries, gravy, and cheese curd – a Valentine’s treat for his wife. “And […]
A single, cold drop of hydraulic fluid trickled out from beneath one of the Curiosity rover’s hazard avoidance cameras earlier today, as the NASA exploration vehicle took in the news that after […]
In the wake of Jody Wilson-Raybould’s resignation from the Liberal party over her concerns that Justin Trudeau is less prime and more minister than originally advertised, Andrew Scheer has penny-loafed into the […]
“Sir,” said an officer in the United States Centre For Watching Every Move Those Shifty Snow Communists Make, housed in an old football stadium in Buffalo, New York. “Sir? You’d better come […]
Taking time out of running arguably the most successful nation in history into the ground, through a combination of cannibalistic policies and intercontinental ballistic idiocy, U.S. President Donald Trump today warned that […]
