“I had a good life,” the Cassini space probe says, as it casts its one-megapixel cameras (built in the early 90’s, Cassini’s photos look like they were taken by a Blackberry Torch) […]
“I’ve tried jumping, I’ve tried splashing, I’ve tried waving my tail,” says a large female humpback whale just west of Cape Cod, as she desperately tries to outrun an armada of tourists […]
“Siri, how many restaurants in a three kilometer radius of my current location serve gluten-free Cheetos?” A man asks his phone as he sets his Nest home thermostat to ‘Make Me Feel […]
“Carbon dating shows that the last remaining Homo Hopean may have lived as recently as 2016,” Robin Archibald, lead archaeologist on the Deep Hope Project, unveiled in a Princeton conference room today to […]
***Satire*** “And we will henceforward be known as North-of-North America. Or NON-America, to use the popular short form,” Says John Candy Jr., head of the Canadian Centre For Centre Being Spelled […]
Gnat Unsure What To Feel After Losing Entire Family, Mating Eighty Times, And Fathering 1100 Children In Just 45 seconds.
Taking a split-second away from the swarm of insects circling in a tight ball above a suburban street somewhere in Canada, Norman Gnat is trying to collect his thoughts on what the […]
An independently commissioned survey of the White House has revealed it is close to collapse. The actual building. Conclusions regarding the administration it houses were not included in the scope of the […]
***Satire*** “I think carbon dioxide has been unfairly stigmatized as a negative thing.” Said Republican Scott Pruitt, new head of the EPA, in a forthright – and at times rambling – public […]
Artist’s impression of an icy exoplanet we are not welcome on.