Continuing to look as surprised as everyone else on earth, Boris Johnson emerged from his Ostrich Pillow (pictured) this evening to take yet more questions on the future of Britain, and was […]
In an unexpected break from their roots as a renegade trendsetter, Microsoft announced last week that they will be purchasing LinkedIn for half of all the boredoms in the continental United States. […]
“I’m just going to put out some feelers.” Justin Trudeau reportedly told his cabinet today, in a closed-door meeting regarding the recent violence in the United States, and more worrying likelihood there […]
In news that is likely to eventually be true, a recent study revealed a strange new norm: Canadians are living long enough to spend the majority of their lives as old people. […]
In a development that is sure to have far-reaching and lasting effects in the cleaning products industry (‘Big Sponge’ as many refer to it), proof has emerged that many of the leading […]
A deluge of irony swept the American mid-west overnight as warm, moist thoughts pulled in from the passing of Muhammad Ali met a rising front of mainstream intolerance rolling across the United […]
A team of astrophysicists at the University of Victoria have today confirmed what has long been theorized: there is a black hole of near-infinite density at the centre of Donald Trump. “The […]
Wayne LaPierre, head of the National Rifle Association of People Who Willfully Defy Logic And Common Sense (NRA) wasted no time in releasing a statement in the aftermath of the shooting of […]
Breaking: In a hastily arranged press conference this afternoon, under a lean-to made of pine boughs, a spokesperson for the Canadian Association of Outdoor Education Teachers attempted to absolve the ambiguity in […]
Conservative estimates indicate that three out of four sentences Aldwin Eldas has said in the last 24 hours have had the words Trudeau, elbow, Brosseau, what’s, the, big, old, and deal, in […]
