***Satire.*** (No, you wouldn’t think that would be necessary. And yet) The order came down at 0630 this morning. Kellyanne Conway, fresh from not ever sleeping due to understandably vociferous inner demons, […]
***Satire*** “No. Neither of those.” Donald Trump says, as he brushes aside Melania’s tenth suggestion, and Ivanka’s fourteenth. “They’re both too dark. I don’t want people thinking this is a funeral or […]
“And we’re happy to pay for it,” say a united front of Canadian premiers, national leaders, mayors, citizens, and casual acquaintances, of the newly planted hedge that has sprung up seemingly […]
***Satire*** Kevin O’Leary is looking at his hands. “Do you think they’re a little large?” He asks a visitor to his office, high above an American city, as he considers running for […]
Research Into Declining Attention Spans Called Off Due To Some Reason That Didn’t Have A Visual Aid Or Catchphrase.
For some reason or other a team of researchers who might have been psychologists from Belgium or possibly sociologists from Belize, either cancelled or postponed their study into the declining attention […]
Parents Concerned Lower Speed Limits Would Affect Their Ability To Speed Home To Prevent Their Children From Walking Along Streets Full Of Crazy Drivers.
***Satire*** Calls to lower the speed limit across the City of Toronto from ‘Usually Fatal’ to ’50/50,’ are being met with resistance from a wide array of speedsters; libertarians; overbooked parents; and […]
Being Kicked In The Groin Ruled Ineligible For TIME Person Of The Year, Award Instead Goes To Trump.
***Satire*** “This year presented a number of challenges,” revealed TIME magazine’s Editor-In-Chief, Jim Sawchuck, discussing his magazine’s selection for Person of The Year, “Is getting punched in the nose worse than being […]
***Satire*** An Out And Abouter special investigation has revealed that on the night of the U.S. federal election, shortly after 3:00 AM EST, as Donald Trump was riding Jared Kushner’s shoulders around his […]
***Satire*** More than 45 years after he wrote his bet on the back of a highly classified dossier, John Smith is finally collecting on his guess as to how Fidel Castro would […]
***The following is satire. Fiction. Not True.*** Market watchers expect to see unprecedented numbers of the ‘KKK Klansman, Jubilee Edition’ dolls selling this coming Christmas, harnessing the purchasing power of racist America, […]