Saying it caused far too great a disturbance for a Monday night, or any other day of the week in a democratic nation, the City of Toronto today revoked the permit for […]
City Revokes Really Shitty Nightclub’s Permit
Ford Pledges To Work All Weekend Sorting Out The Mess Ford Left Him
In a sign of the determined, dogged, and deliberately detrimental leadership Ontarians can expect from their new government over the next four years, Premier Doug Ford announced on Friday that he will […]
Chaos At Queen’s Park, As Doug Ford Invokes The Notwithstanding Pants Clause
“Show me where it says I have to wear anything at all,” the premier of Ontario is said to have demanded this morning, before proceeding to undo his zip, drop trou, and […]
A Tumultuous Day In Ontario Leaves Everyone Asking Same Thing: Who Will Write The Op-Ed?
QUEEN’S PARK – As Doug Ford moved to use the notwithstanding clause to make himself the first premier of Toronto, there was just one question left on the minds of all those […]
Ontario Supreme Court Rules Against Getting Revenge The Really Really Long Way
In a ruling handed down this morning by Ontario Supreme Court Justice Edward “Crickets” Belobaba, a question that has been asked many times, in many ways, by one person, has now been […]
Doug Ford Moves Ahead With Plan To Make Ontario Place An Offshore Tax Shelter
“Because who doesn’t have millions of dollars they can afford to keep in remote accounts with limited access purely to avoid paying tax?” asked Ontario Premier Doug Ford today, sporting what is […]
First 10 Calls To Ontario Teacher’s Snitch Line All Complaints That Math For Buck-A-Beer Doesn’t Add Up
The ringing of a phone took everyone by surprise, according to Ellen Wrathburn, newly appointed head of the Ontario District School Board’s Bitch And Snitch Line, the most recent manifestation of the […]
Ford Backtracks After Learning Victoria’s Macdonald Statue Unrelated To Fast Food Chain
Doug Ford came up against an immediate road block to his plans to score a free statue, own the libs, and show his base he unnerstans them, when late this afternoon he […]
Ford Ends Press Briefing With Compulsory Rendition Of ‘If You’re Happy And You Know It’
After wrapping up a press briefing in which he casually mentioned the creation of an Ontario Space Force, the indefinite closure of Toronto’s Line 1 subway service as a way to save […]
Back To School Sales In Ontario Focus On Province’s Core Values
With the beginning of the 2018-2019 school year fast approaching in Ontario, large retailers have started rolling out sales on items designed to facilitate the next generation in their quest to achieve […]
