In a move that many saw coming, the council of Theoretical Life On Mars today banned all flights from Earth for at least the next five millennia, citing concerns over an outbreak […]
Saying that if the human race didn’t have anywhere else to go that wasn’t its problem, planet Earth today served notice that everyone, everywhere, had to be off its outer crust by […]
“Let me put it this way. I wouldn’t spend much time worrying about current events. Any possible issue you are worried about right now, is just a few days away from being […]
After breaking out in a massive rash, and suddenly beginning to feel quite feverish, the planet Earth was today forced to inform its co-globes that it thought it might be coming down […]
NEWARK – In a move that has been expected by everyone other than humans for quite some time, the rest of life on Earth today voted to do what has to be […]
VENUS – “I’m not saying I need an expedition every night or anything,” the opaque, spinning mystery of a planet says, as she glides silently along her arcing trajectory through space. Alone. […]
After years of peering into the darkest and most distant recesses of our universe, discovering things as unusual as dark matter, the moons of Pluto, and the very edges of the velvet […]
In a recent revelation, published in the respectably obscure scientific journal Knock Knock Who’s There Science Science Who Too Late, a team of experts from the University of Atlantis released their analysis of what ultimately […]
“Let me put it this way. Any possible issue you are currently worried about is now just a few days away from being atomized,” The Grim Reaper asteroid, yet to be detected […]
“Oh gross,” the immortal, all-knowing, divine overseer said, as he peered past Alpha Centauri, reached around the sun, and gingerly collected a planet with two fingers while wrinkling his nose and holding […]
