In an exclusive, the Out and Abouter has obtained an advanced copy of a report by the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States of America (First Edition), that reveals a startling […]
CIA Report Reveals Majority Of Canadians Own Feet Knives
Trudeau Concludes Meeting With Premiers By Singing ‘Babies, It’s Getting Warm Outside’
“I really can’t stay,” Ontario Premier Doug Ford reportedly said, attempting to excuse himself from today’s meeting with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, after receiving less than the full hour of speaking time […]
Scheer Warns Signing UN Migration Pact Could Lead To Recognizing Universal Human Rights
“Read the fine print!” Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer shouted in the House Of Commons today, as the Liberal Party recklessly barrelled on with their plan to sign a “non-legally binding cooperative framework […]
Spotted: Trump Wears White Suit To George HW Bush’s Funeral
The first sign something was amiss was the ripple of murmurs, spreading through the crowd of thousands gathered at the U.S. Capitol Building today in Washington, to pay their final respects to […]
Ford Says He Couldn’t Have Lowered Qualifications To Help Friend As He Has No Idea What Those Things Are
“My friends,” said Premier Doug Ford, addressing reporters outside his office in a tense exchange, after the news broke that an old friend of his was recently appointed head of the Ontario […]
Hardline Faction Of Far-Right Elves Demands Santa Put The North Pole First
In the latest sign that the Christmas Party’s multi-century hold on the reindeers of power at the North Pole may be beginning to slip, the upstart Elves First organization is demanding that […]
InSight Lander Discovers “Make Mars Great Again” Hat Under Two Meters Of Red Dust
In a discovery that NASA is calling “probably not that important,” the InSight lander has reportedly unmarsed a hat on the red planet, where it recently arrived as part of an ongoing […]
Canada To Award Jared Kushner The Medal Of Yellow Snow
OTTAWA – In a move that has caused widespread satisfaction amongst Canadians of all political stripes and leanings, the Trudeau Liberals today announced their intention to publicly reward Jared Kushner for his […]
5 Ways To Serve Very Safe Tear Gas To Your Family This Christmas
“It’s a very minor form of the tear gas itself. It’s very safe.”~ U.S. President Donald Trump, discussing the tear-gassing of women and children at the border, a month before Christmas, 2018.~ It’s that time […]
GM Releases New Line Of Zero-Scruples Vehicles
Just a day after announcing they would be ceasing operations at five of their manufacturing plants – in favour of becoming a global symbol for the failings of capitalism – General Motors […]
